Thursday 24 May 2012





I didn’t want to wake up. I was having a much better time asleep. And that’s really sad. It was almost like a reverse nightmare, like when you wake up from a nightmare you’re so relieved. I woke up into a nightmare.
Ned Vizzini

Tuesday 22 May 2012

I just want to find someone who can make me laugh until an eight pack is built, or at any moment, whether I am upset at them, or just down. Someone to listen to me and talk to me for long hours at a time and that share the same sensitivity and openness to expression as I do. Someone I could just spill every inch of my heart out and come to such a perfect reaction to my words because they will understand and just get it. They can be my compass on days like these when I'm lost and reassure me to let me know that despite how crazy and chaotic and absolutely confusing this world is, that everything will be okay and that some day it will all make sense to me. I want us to share all of our favorite bands that no one knows about, for it to be kept as our little secret. We could listen to all those amazing bands and just hang out with the summer heat and indulge in each other's company.
I feel like I need something to make me feel alive inside.

Beautiful stranger I met today

Monday 21 May 2012

Still feeling rather confused.

I feel like I should be doing something, like being productive and just making stuff happen. But I don't know what to do, where to start and I just feel so scattered. My thoughts are every where and I can't seem to grasp what I want and how to get it. I feel like I need to go soul searching..

It's like I'm headed towards an unset destination, I'm trying to find a way to get there, but I just end up exasperated. I hold the screams inside of me, balling up a wall of tension between my heart and my mind, wanting to truly make something out of all this passion that I possess, but not knowing absolutely what to make of it. I want to travel and see the world, love someone and share every beautiful moment with them. Come on, who doesn't? But this ideal seems so inaccessible right now.

Right now I just feel vulnerable and lonely, and in my own little world, with some visitors here and there that find a way in, a way to understand a part of me. Some people without me realising allow me to present a glimpse of this world and more often than not they surprise me by telling me that I possess wisdom, when in my reality all that I say are just plain observations of this life I lead, things I almost even consider common sense. I just want to find an escape and sore free and know that tomorrow will be okay and know that not growing up is okay and know that if I have enough heart I will succeed- that one day I won't have to just keeping wishing, and dreaming, and looking at the people I wish I were. That happiness and love will come to those who are patient.

I guess sometimes when you want something so much, it might actually break you.

Monday 14 May 2012

I finally got my Yeh! Yogourt after weeks of craving it! So happy and it was so delicious! I had vanilla, chocolate & pina coloda with kiwi, strawberry, blackberry, pineapples, mangoes and gummy bears, yumyum.
I love the lighting of the stages lights in this picture! It's such a beautiful moment captured.

Sunday 13 May 2012

It feels so good to just relax, and be careless and practically stress free. Since the beginning of the year, I made so many commitments that every day was filled with things to do! It's almost like I have forgotten what it was like to just breathe and have fun carelessly. Hello summer 2012, boy am I excited to see what you have in store for me and I am so ready to take you on!

Thursday 10 May 2012

I'm not lost, just wandering.

Lately my emotions have been quite the roller coaster, with great highs and great lows. From utter happiness that I can barely keep inside of me wiped with a smile of a fool on my face, to crying river full of tears to sleep. I understand all the things that bring a smile to my face, from seeing the success of friends, to the approaching summer, but the real problems lies within why I am sad. I don't know! I can name a handful of reasons why maybe I would be, but the problem is that all of them just feel like an excuse. I just feel so sad, to the point that I am almost empty. The best reasoning I could find was fatigue and not being able to dance and I guess that will just have to do.


I came to the realization of the touch that I am losing with the world around me. I have become so focused on only the aspects that revolve in my life that I find myself barely informed on issues that are even affecting me indirectly. I just feel so zoned out lately, like I am in my own special world.

I'm sure all this is just a phase and that it will pass soon enough.